I don’t know how scientific this will be other than observation- ok so it’s not scientific at all. But it is observable; once you start looking for it- correlation is causation to be sure, conformational bias and all that.
We went to Miami January 2018 and while there a group of parents with 2-3 year olds in strollers were pushed by us on the side walk- we were close to the beach and it was a warm beautiful dusk or early evening night. Each child had in their hands a tablet or phone watching something, swiping at something or on a game. They were swiping right and left, up and down getting an electron kibble. Just like little Pavlov dogs; ringing the bell, getting a mental “fix” in- such an early age to be electronically entertained. Why not, it keeps them from whining right? Full parental support to be sure, because it was easier to have that 4 inch babysitter while they wandered with all that could be seen. My wife and I just observed and commented later that it was a sad thing to see. Here it was a beautiful night, lots to see around them, which wasn’t seen on a screen, lots to experience and yet here they were in an alternate reality.
Don’t get me wrong, as I look back in my parenting choices, we might have had “mandatory TV time” to be sure—I mean is there anything a TV can’t do, my oldest son learned to count coins with Mario and Luigi for heaven’s sake. We/my wife would sit the kids down in front of the Boob-Tube—the TV if you are unfamiliar with the vernacular and let it do the entertaining for us… for a break, for an excuse, for any number of reasons—now look at our kids- look at how they turned out, ….ehhhh. Ok maybe that’s their issue. Just kidding, they did alright but they didn’t have the access to the small and large screens as they do now. I would have stopped it for sure. The future I’m afraid might be less forgiving.
Fast forward, look at all the kids, teenagers, toddlers, and adults who have access to some screen in their hand- who is in control, you or the screen, who is the master and who is the slave. See how we are so willingly trade our time, our freedom for electron movement and yet we miss out on so much if we were to just look up- look what surrounds us. Next time you are in a busy place, just look around and see how many people are huddled over their screens- who around you is looking up? Not many I’m afraid, as I have done this exact thing. Does anyone strike up a conversation with their neighbor anymore, do the youth know how to do this? Does anyone have eye contact any longer?
In August 2016 my wife and I were in Salt Lake and we went out to dinner and visited Temple Square for our anniversary. We walked the Temple grounds and this was the time where the PokyMon craze of catching some ethereal monster was all the rage. Just writing it makes me see how ridiculous that actually sounds. Here were 100’s of people in the evening on their phones looking for some “monster” and yet they were on Temple square or the grounds surrounding it. This is a place of magnificent beauty, the grounds, the flowers, the buildings and everything is pointing toward eternity and here they were looking down and focused on something so absolutely “unreal” it’s astounding how that it’s even possible. They were actively selling their birth right for a mess of pottage.
At Church we sat two rows behind a young family that had a 12 year old boy and maybe a 6 or 7 year old boy. Each had a screen in their paws- gotta catch’m all. Then the mom tries to take the phone away from the 7 year old that he is playing on. The look on his face was telling. By his action he told his mom… “No mom”, with an exclamation point. He was prancing up and down like he was completely out of control – I would say he was addicted. He pouted, he bawled and “he won”, he got the phone back, he won, the parents lost and I’m sure this isn’t or wasn’t the first time either. He learned that if you pout, bawl, cry you get your way… who is the master and who is the slave.
I have never seen drug use withdrawal or addiction to drugs in general, but what I saw was “addiction” and how the parents were and are, kicking the can down the road, because the issue isn’t going to get any better… that screen time will only get worse, it probably is worse in the home as he knows how to “negotiate” and get the things he wants in a more comfortable environment, just like all kids do. But who were the parent again- I didn’t see one that day.
If you were to ask the parent and she was willing to listen, and you could say—“If that behavior was as a result of drug use would you allow and give the “meth” hit because they ‘wanted’ it, just so the kids doesn’t cry, bawl, pout, would you give it to them”. Of course they wouldn’t- that would be irresponsible.
Like I said, it’s kicking the can down the road. I’m sure there are mitigating circumstances, there are unknowns and this might have been the best solution because the child has behavior issues and so on. But regardless of all the “excuses” the results show that giving that screen certainly won’t help, no matter how disturbed, sick or well the child is. It’s training the brain, its training behavior, it’s training his/her future- I know that sounds a bit heavy, could there be a better way to address the limited time to be on screens- of course there is.
So now what, what to do? What are you going to do? You and I see this almost every day. So when you sit behind that family (or maybe you are that family) or you see the stroller going down the street, or you watch kids playing on a screen when they are camping and missing out in all that surrounds them….maybe you will think twice and leave the screen at home or control it better and not be the slave. Are you going to be the tougher parent even though it might be disruptive or uncomfortable- in the short term and are you yourself going to tough on yourself too? Time will tell I suppose.